Donald Trump Jokes

Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Answer: Because he never pays his debts.

Why can't you compare millionaires Tim Cook and Donald Trump?

Answer: Apples and oranges.

Why did Donald Trump ban shredded cheese as his first act as president?

Answer: He wanted to fur fill a campaign promise to "Make America Grate Again".

Why did Donald Trump invite Kanye West round to help with his Christmas presents?

Answer: Because Kanye is Trump's favourite wrapper.

Why did the Super Bowl Champions refuse to meet Trump at the White House?

Answer: Because they were Patriots.

Why did Trump decide to build the wall?

Answer: Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.

Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate?

Answer: He doesn’t get on with China.

Why does Donald Trump pick his nose?

Answer: Because he's the boogeyman.

Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Answer: Because E.T. eventually went home!

Why does Trump like mini-golf?

Answer: Because mini-strokes are common.

Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Answer: Because he has such yuuuuge fans!

Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Answer: Because she would have to move into a smaller house.

Why Donald Trump likes to play Golf not Tennis?

Answer: He is not good at returns!

Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Answer: Because all his other wives support Hillary.

Why is Donald Trump like Jesus?

Answer: He'll never be as good as his Daddy.

Yo mama so ugly, Donald Trump tried to disconnect her from the internet!

You may not believe me when I say that Trump isn't the Prime Minister of Canada
It's Trudeau.