Actor Jokes

Babe, are you Cameron Bancroft?

Answer: 'Cause I want you tampering with my balls.

Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.

Did you know Raymond Burr had a brother who was a lumberjack?

Answer: His name was Tim

Do you think Daniel Radcliffe could ever play a hobbit?

Answer: No, but Elijah Would

How did Christian Bale get so skinny for "The Machinist"?

Answer: He's a methhead actor.

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.

I heard that Tim Allen is a good chess player!

He’s a GruntMaster.

I was once told I looked like an actor enough to be his stunt double. The actor was Danny DeVito.

If Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Dennis Dugan are in a plane and the plane crashes, who will survive?

Answer: American comedy films.

If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win?

Answer: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.

Is there a more Dutch sounding actor than Tom Holland?

Answer: Yes, there's Tom Hollander.

Is Tim McGraw a Christian?

Answer: If so, I wish he’d share his Faith with me.

It's a pity they didn't cast Ryan Reynolds as Jay Gatsby since he's both the green lantern and deadpool.

Jack Nicholson refuses to believe that he doesn’t like classical music. He just can’t Handel the truth.

Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...

Matthew Broderick has just announced a sequel to one of his biggest films!

He'll play Iron Man's nephew who skips school to go on a wacky adventure in Chicago with his friends!

Its called "Ferrous Bueller's Day Off".

My friend does the same two impressions in every party. He is either Matt Damon or Hugh Jackman.
Maybe he’s Bourne with it. Maybe he’s Wolverine.

One small step for man…one giant leap for Danny DeVito.

Sir Roger Moore, prominent James bond actor has passed away...his family say that they are shaken....but not stirred!

There is a reason why Daniel Craig has grey hair in the new James Bond film...
... it's because he's got 'No time to Dye'.

What did Mick Jagger say when he caught Hugh Hefner and Dennis Weaver in the bedroom together?

Answer: Hey, hugh, get off of Mccloud.

What did Nancy Sinatra say about her actor friend Christopher's custom-made footwear?

Answer: These boots are made for Walken.

What do Theresa May and John Malkovich have in common?

Answer: They both played themselves.

What do you call an actor that spent all his money on condoms?

Answer: Johnny Debt

What do you call Iron Man when he can’t swim?

Answer: Robert Drowney JR

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Answer: Christian Bale

What happens when you put Chris Pine, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Reeve, Chris Pratt and Chris Evans in the same room?

Answer: A Chrisis

What's the difference between Jimmy Stewart and Payne Stewart?

Answer: Jimmy Stewart knew how to fly a plane.

What's the difference between Will Rogers and Ellen Degeneres?

Answer: Will Rogers never met a man he DIDN'T like.

Whats the best thing Orlando Bloom's ever been in?

Answer: Katy Perry

When James Earl Jones auditioned for Darth Vader, George Lucas told him he had to have a Mid-Atlantic accent.

Answer: So, he went and bought a scuba air tank, and the rest is history.

Which actor could have majored as an English professor?

Answer: Kelsey Grammer

Which silent movie star spent his leisure time at a lake in Vermont?

Answer: Charlie Champlain

Who is chicken’s favourite actor?

Answer: James Cor-hen

Who is CRISPR's favorite actor?

Answer: Gene Hackman

Who is the most hated actor in Saudi Arabia?

Answer: Shia Labeouf

Who is your favorite rapper? Mine is Bill Cosby, WAIT no I meant favorite RAPER not rapper, my bad!

Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?

Answer: Rigor Mortissen

Who's your favorite James Bond actor?

Answer: They're all good but I like Roger Moore.