Nancy Pelosi Jokes

Trump asks Putin for advice

Complaining about his failures, Trump asks Putin how he's so successful. Putin responds that he surrounds himself with clever people and calls in Sergei Lavrov to ask him:

"Sergei, your parents have a child who is neither your brother nor your sister, who is it?"

Lavrov thinks for a moment and answers: "it's me."

Impressed, Trump decides to ask Paul Ryan the same question. Stumped, Ryan says he needs sometime to consider the question.

The next day, after a particularly heated exchange with Nancy Pelosi, Ryan asks her: "if you're so smart, riddle me this: your parents have a child that isn't your brother or sister, who is it?" Pelosi shoots back, "well, obviously it's me."

The next time he sees Trump, Ryan proudly announces that he's solved the riddle and tells Trump: "well, obviously, it's Nancy Pelosi!"

Trump roars, "you idiot, this is why nothing gets done around here, it's not Pelosi, it's obviously Sergei Lavrov!"

The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!"
Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!"
So the Pope slapped her.

Who’s R Kelly’s favorite lawmaker?

Answer: Nancy PEElosi