Dick Cheney Jokes

Bush falls into a coma and awakes 3 years later. His advisers explain he has been in a coma for 3 years, and Cheney took over. Bush asks how Cheney is doing, and his advisers say, 'Ok but inflation is a bit high.' Bush says, 'Well I remember stamps were 25 cents, how much do they cost now?' His adviser says, '500 yen.'

Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.

"What's the matter, Mr. President?" the Vice President inquired.

"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" the President beamed.

How long did it take you?

Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!

Dick Cheney, Jim Porter, and Justin Bieber are duck hunting. Cheney shoots at a duck and misses 6 inches too high. Porter shoots and misses 6 inches too low. Bieber shouts, “We got it! We got it!”

President George Bush and his accomplice Dick Cheney were riding on an elephant.

A group of bystanders were watching intently. All of a sudden someone in the croud shouted, “Hey look that elephant has two assholes on it!”

President Bush and Cheney looked down at the elephants ass, confused.

Why did Mitt Romney get nipple rings?

Answer: He heard that George W Bush had a Dick Cheney.

Why is it alright that life long hunter Mitt Romney has only hunted small animals?

Answer: Because Dick Cheney is the only Republican to hunt lawyers!