Bill Gates Jokes

Bill Gates and Steve Jobs talk at a bar after a long day of gettin' money.

Bill: So I went to the bank yesterday to talk about a loan

Steve: What do you need a loan for?

Bill: Oh, I don't. The bank does.

Bill Gates has now donated enough money to charity that he lost his billionaire status. He now goes by Mill Gates.

Bill Gates is having a conversation with Paul Allen.
Bill: "How come Bing failed?"
Paul: "Well, let me Goo..."
Bill: "Never mind."

Bill Gates now richer than Jeff Bezos..now he can look down on Amazon from his Windows!

Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...

Bill Gates walks into a bar and everyone inside becomes a millionaire...on average.

Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall On the condition he gets to install windows.

Did you hear Steve Jobs tried to enter the pearly Gates?

Answer: Bill said no!

How did Bill Gates come up with the name for his company, "Microsoft"?

Answer: He pulled down his underwear and looked in the mirror.

How does Bill Gates count to ten?

Answer: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, ME, XP, Vista, 7, 8,10.

How soft is Bill Gate's pillow?

Answer: Microsoft

I heard that Bill Gates's wedding night will be less than blissful for his new bride. She will find out why his company is named Microsoft.

Little Johnny is on an airplane with Bill Gates, Donald Trump, and the Pope...

The airplane is shot out of Russian airspace and is about to crash. There are 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes. One of them will be left behind on the plane when it crashes.

Bill Gates says, "I am Bill Gates, one of the founders of Microsoft. My devices are used by people across the globe, and I donate billions of dollars to charity. I can't afford to die." So, he takes the first pack and jumps out of the plane.

Donald Trump says, "I am the one, the only, the Donald Trump. I am the US President, and I am the smartest President in American history. It's true, believe me. My people don't want me to die, so I'm taking this parachute." Then he snatches the second pack and jumps out of the plane.

The Pope turns to Little Johnny and says, "My son, I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

Little Johnny turns down the offer and says, "That's okay, Your Holiness, there's enough parachutes for both of us. The President just jumped out with my backpack..."

Steve jobs and Bill Gates colonize Mars. What do they call the planet?

Answer: Planet of the Apps.

There are five people on a plane that's crashing. There is the pilot, Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and a big, fat lady and four parachutes. The pilot jumps out and yells, ''God bless me!'' Bill Gates jumps out and yells, ''God bless me and my bank account!'' Michael Jordan jumps out and yells, ''God bless me and my team!'' Wayne Gretzky jumps out and yells, ''God bless me and the New York Rangers!'' The big, fat lady jumps out without a parachute and yells, ''God bless me and the people I land on!''

What did Bill Gates wife say to him on their wedding night?

Answer: So that's why you call it "Microsoft".

What do Bill Gates and Bill Clinton have in common?

Answer: They're both being investigated for their GUI applications.

What do Bill Gates and Elon Musk have in common?

Answer: They broke windows live on stage.

What does Bill Gates say when he dislikes something?

Answer: Bill Hates

What shirt size does Bill Gates wear?

Answer: Excel

Why Bill Gates should lead the team to find the Corona Virus cure?

Answer: He has been dealing with viruses since Windows 3.0

Why did Steve Jobs hate arguments with Bill Gates?

Answer: He could never WinThose

Why does Bill Gates make for a terrible medical expert?

Answer: Because he can't get rid of viruses in Microsoft either.

Yo mamma is so fat, Bill Gates became broke after buying her dinner.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thinks Bill Gates is another name for toll booths.