Floyd Mayweather Jokes

And the winner of Pacquiao vs Mayweather is....The UFC

Anyone who thinks Mcgregor beating Mayweather is impossible...forgot Donald J Trump is our 45th President!

Did you hear the one about Mike Tyson, Lennox Lewis, George Foreman and Floyd Mayweather Jr in queue at the bank?

Answer: Punchline

Everybody has been reading about the fight today...except Floyd Mayweather.

Flloyd Mayweather was a born boxer. He's been wearing boxing gloves since before he could read.

Floyd Mayweather won because of an unfair advantage. He gets to practice in the gym all day and then goes home and practices on his family.

Floyd Mayweather's true record is 51-0...they forgot to count the 3 times he beat his wife.

Floyd was supposed to hug his wife and fight his opponent, he got them mixed up.

Why Floyd Mayweather can't get his daughter to go to bed

Floyd's daughter: Hey Daddy, can i stay up and watch TV?

Floyd Mayweather: No it's past your bedtime and you're suppose to go to sleep

Floyd's daughter: Well can you at least read me a bedtime story until i fall asleep?

Floyd Mayweather: Fine you can watch TV as long as you want

How are a Bud Light bottle and Floyd Mayweather Jr alike?

Answer: They are both empty from the neck up.

How bad is a Floyd Mayweather meltdown?

Answer: So bad Al Gore is making a documentary about it!

How did Floyd Mayweathers wife find out that he was cheating?

Answer: She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles

How do we know Floyd Mayweather isn't a bomb?

Answer: Because he can't tell the time.

I've heard the crime rate in the Philippines drops when Manny Pacquiao fights...

The crime rate also drops in Floyd Mayweather's home when Floyd Mayweather fights.

If you can read this...you're not Floyd Mayweather!

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Mayweather.
Mayweathere who?
Mayweather will be very sunny with a little cloud in the afternoon.

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Pacquiao.
Running footsteps sounds, fading away from the door, at Floyds house.

Mayweather still has a perfect record...at least until he's convicted!

Mayweather will probably win against Pacquiao...he gets extra practice with his wife.

Muhammad Ali in 1974: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

Floyd Mayweather in 2015: Run like a chicken, hug like a bear

On allegations of Mayweather beating his wife...he was undefeated, he couldn't let her win.

Think Mayweather/Mcgregor is going to be the biggest fight of the year?

Answer: Just wait until my girl finds out I paid $100 to see it.

What did Floyd Mayweather say to Josie Harris with 2 black eyes?

Answer: Nothing he already told her twice!

What did Floyd Mayweather's wife say about his recent victory?

Answer: Beats me.

What did Ricky Hatton's manager tell him inbetween rounds during a fight with Floyd Mayweather Jr?

Answer: Let him hit you with his left for awhile. Your face is crooked.

What do Bruce Jenner and Floyd Mayweather, have in common?

Answer: They have both been punched in the ring a lot.

What do you call a Floyd Mayweather with no job?

Answer: Unemfloyd Mayweather.

What do you call Floyd Mayweather a month before his fight?

Answer: Floyd Aprilweather

What does Floyd Mayweather do if the dishwasher stops working?

Answer: He hits her!

What does Floyd Mayweather do when he's not boxing?

Answer: Unboxing

What does Manny Pacquiao plan to write on Floyd Mayweathers tombstone?

Answer: You can stop counting. I'm not getting up.

What is loud and hysterical?

Answer: Floyd Mayweather's baby mama, Josie Harris, after he beats her!

What was the cause for Floyd Mayweather's first loss?

Answer: He couldn't read his opponent's moves.

What's a bigger lie than Floyd Mayweather pleading "Not Guilty"?

Answer: Charlie Sheen pleading to be sober & a feminist.

What's Floyd Mayweather's favourite game?

Answer: Duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck...

What's the difference between Mcgregor and Mayweather?

Answer: Mcgregor hugs his wife and beats his opponents while Mayweather beats his wife and hugs his opponents.

Whats more painful than getting punched in the face by Manny Pacquiao or Floyd Mayweather?

Answer: Listening to Manny Pacquiao or Floyd Mayweather conduct interviews

Why can't Floyd Mayweather Jr drink pints quickly?

Answer: Because he's only a lightweight.

Why did the Floyd Mayweather Jr stare at a can of frozen orange juice?

Answer: Because it said concentrate.

Why did the Mayweather cross the McGregor?

Answer: To get to the other Harvey!

Why does Floyd Mayweather have "TGIF" written on his boxing shoes?

Answer: To remind him that "Toes Go in First."

Why does Floyd Mayweather, Jr. like comedies?

Answer: For the punchlines.

Why does Manny Pacquiao hate spring?

Answer: Because it has May weather in it.

Why does McGregor love springtime so much?

Answer: Cause you just can't beat Mayweather.

Why was the Floyd Jr. proud for finishing a puzzle in only six months?

Answer: The box said "2 to 4 years!"

You know why Mayweather won't beat Pacquiao?

Answer: Pacquiao isn't his wife.