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Back to Historical celebrityCapitalist Hell vs Communist Hell
A political activist named Dave was just arriving in Hell, and was told he had a choice to make. He could go to Capitalist Hell or to Communist Hell.
Naturally, Dave wanted to compare the two, so he wandered over to Capitalist Hell. There outside the door was Rockerfeller, looking bored. "What's it like in there?" asked Dave. "Well," he replied , "In Capitalist Hell, they flay you alive, boil you in oil, chain you to a rock and let a vulture tear your liver out, and cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."
"That's terrible!!" gasped Dave. "I'm going to check out Communist Hell!" He went over to Communist Hell, where he discovered a huge line of people waiting to get in; the line circled around the lobby seven times before receding off into the horizon. Dave pushed his way through to the head of the line, where he found Karl Marx busily signing people in. Dave asked Karl what Communist Hell was like.
"In Communist Hell," said Marx impatiently, "they flay you alive, boil you in oil, chain you to a rock and let vultures tear out your liver, and cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."
"But ... but that's the same as Capitalist Hell!" protested Dave.
"True," sighed Marx, "but sometimes we don't have oil, sometimes we don't have knives ..."
Did you know Karl Marx was teased by his classmates in school?Answer: Thy teased him because he couldn’t capitalize.
Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.
Hey girl is your name Karl Marx?Answer: Cuz you're starting an uprising in my lower classes
If Karl Marx made a contraceptive company
Would it's slogan be seize the means of reproduction?
What does Karl Marx, a bus driver and a sous chef at a 5-star restaurant have in common?Answer: Everything, if Marx had his way.
What would a local pub that lacks class be called?Answer: A Marxist utopia
What’s Karl Marx’s favorite measurement of time?Answer: Hours
Why did Karl Marx hate earl grey?Answer: Because all proper tea is theft
Why did Lenin mark the names of traitors with ? at the end?Answer: Because they question Marx
Why did the Communist fail at school?Answer: He got bad Marx.
Why did the student drop out of the course in 19th-century socialist thought?Answer: Because of poor Marx.
Why does Karl Marx love snow days?Answer: Because there are no classes
Why does Karl Marx write in lowercase?Answer: He hates capitalism
Why does Karl Marx's toilet play music every time you flush it?Answer: Because of the violins inherent in the cistern.
Why was Karl Marx buried at Highgate Cemetery?Answer: Because he was dead.
Why was Karl Marx good at geometry?Answer: He knew Engels.
Why would Karl Marx support closing schools because of COVID-19?Answer: We'd finally live in a classless society.
With all the systematic problems in the US, was Karl Marx right?Answer: No, he was left.
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