Celebrity Jokes

To play a wrong note is insignificant; toplay without passion is inexcusable.

What was Linda McCartney's greatest legacy?

Answer: That the Beatles could barely sing, but she and Yoko made them sound good.

A guy was stranded on a desert island with Cindy Crawford. He played it cool, and he didn't make any moves towards her for several weeks. Finally, one day he asked her if maybe they could start up a physical relationship, so as to attend to each other's needs. Cindy said she was game and a very vigorous sexual relationship began.

Everything was great for about 4 months. One day, the guy went to Cindy and said, 'I'm having this problem. It's kind of a guy thing, but I need to ask you a favor.' Cindy said, 'Okay.' The guy said, 'Can I borrow your eyebrow pencil?' Cindy looked at him a little funny, but said, 'Sure, you can borrow my eyebrow pencil.' The guy then said, 'Do you mind if I use the eyebrow pencil to draw a moustache on you?' Cindy is getting a little worried, but says, 'Okay.' Then the guy said, 'Can you wear some of my guy clothing, I need for you to look more like a man.' Cindy is getting a little disappointed at this point, but says, 'Well I guess so.' Then the guy says to Cindy, 'Do you mind if I call you Fred?' Cindy, very dejected, says, 'I guess not.'

So, the guy reaches out and grabs Cindy by the arms and says, 'Fred, you won't believe who I've been sleeping with these past four months!'

You must be Halle Berry's twin sister; the one they don't talk about because she's much more beautiful.

Do you have porridge for breakfast?

Answer: Kevin Bacon