Celebrity Jokes

When the Pope last visited Ireland, his plane was due to have landed in Dublin, but was diverted to Shannon because of fog. The chauffeur was ordered to rush round to Shannon to meet him, and got there just as the Pope's plane landed. The Pope got out, kissed the ground, then spotted the gleaming white Rolls Royce on the runway. His eyes lit up. "I've always wanted to drive one of these," he sdaid to the chauffeur. "Get in the back." The chauffeur protested, but did as he was told. The Pope drove around for a bit to get used to the car, then glanced at his watch and saw that he was very late for his appointment in Dublin. In an effort to get there on time, he floored the accelerator, and before long the car was doing over 100mph, but hadn't gone very far before a police car came alongside it, and forced the Rolls Royce to pull over. The policeman walked over and looked at the driver's license, then walked a few steps away to radio his superior officer.
"I've just caught someone very important speeding. What shall I do?"
"Who is he? Is he more important than the President?"
"Yes, more important than that!"
"More important than Terry Wogan?"
"Yes, far more important."
"Well, who is it?"
"I don't know, but he's obviously very important. He's being driven by the Pope."

Have you heard about the musician who leaves a message for his wife?

Answer: Gone Chopin, have Liszt, Bach in a Minuet.

The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.

Who is Steve Irwin’s favorite musician?

Answer: Ray Charles

When Zlatan crosses the street, cars look both ways.